Of Pointy Things and Dog Duty
by MintiNeko
Summary: Uchiha, get away from me, I have a knife, claws, and teeth and I'm not afraid to use them." ItachiHana


This is Non-massacre universe

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"Get away from me, Uchiha. I have a knife, claws, and teeth and I'm not afraid to use them."

Hana jabbed Itachi irritably with her elbow to put some distance between them. She was a woman used to discomfiting closeness and tight spaces, but Itachi's current persistence was driving her a little nuts.

"So?" He kept hovering, his breath ghosting her neck, giving her a severe creepy feeling. She considered setting her dogs on him, but managed to restrain herself.

"Step away." She turned around and tapped his collarbone with the flat of her knife, still red with blood from the raw meat her dogs were eagerly awaiting. Itachi's nose wrinkled in aristocratic distaste, much to her amusement. Any man who turned up his nose at tasks like chopping or kennel cleaning had no right to even _consider_ coming within a foot of her.

Despite the blood starting to stain his shirt, he stayed right where he was. "Hana-san, why so hostile?"

His voice was very pleasant, she noted with distaste, a little annoyed with how much of a role her dog-influenced senses played in her attractions to men. Same with his scent, accentuated by wild grass and tree bark; remnants of what had probably been a good spar that morning.

"I don't like it when _anyone_ tries to interfere with my time with my dogs." She lifted the knife away from the now-reddened collar and placed it on the table. She gathered up the meat and tossed each dog its meal, much to their delight.

Pleased, Hana turned around only to find that Itachi was, once again, too close.

"Didn't you hear me? Leave." She wished that he wasn't a clan heir or her captain; those where the two kinds of people on whom it was not a good idea to set her dogs on. Besides, with their bellies full, they wouldn't be interested in sinking their teeth into people, especially not Uchiha Itachis.

_Pity. They usually love playing with weasels._

"But I'm your _captain_. You need to be briefed on the mission, since you couldn't make it to the Godaime's." He smirked at her, revealing oddly sharp canine teeth very much like her own.

Hana wondered vaguely if he had an Inuzuka ancestor somewhere in his genealogy. She quickly discarded the thought; had he had any Inuzuka blood, he would have looked considerably more rugged and less like _her_.

"The mission's in two days," she pointed out, "There's plenty of time to tell me."

"Not really. I want to talk to you _now_."

"Itachi, there are three things important to me in life. My family, my dogs, and my job. You are not my family, or a dog, and you only control a small portion of my job. Frankly, I don't care about any threats you could make right now."

Itachi shook his head. "I'm not here to make threats. I just need to talk to you."

"Wait for me outside until I get done, then."

"I don't want to."

Even more annoyed, but unable to say anything (one did not say 'buzz off' to one's own captain or a clan heir; unfortunately Itachi was both), Hana turned back to her duties. If there was one thing she knew, it was that men got impatient when ignored, huffed and puffed a bit, and then stalked off to sulk somewhere private.

It was really too bad that Itachi had the patience of a mother. His mother, to be precise. The day Tsume was called patient was the day her brother declared his eternal love for Shino.

Fed up with having him following too-close on her heels like some lovesick puppy, she grabbed a bucket and a rag and shoved them at him.

"What's this?" She had to fight a laugh that the bewildered expression on his face, looking like it was completely out of its element.

"I don't want you underfoot." One of his eyebrows quirked upwards, a jab to the fact she nearly had to crane her neck to look up and see his face; she ignored it. "So you get to work."

She half-hoped that he would declare something about Uchiha pride and go stalking away muttering about foolish women who dared to put him to work. Instead, he merely shrugged and went to work, pausing only to roll up his sleeves. Hana watched him in disbelief, then just laughed and went back to work.

At least until he splashed her with the water. Then she was forced to put her claws and teeth to work.

She had a nasty feeling that he hadn't minded it much.

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**A/N**: Pure crack.

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